Dirtbag, Massachusetts

 Tell me a story... about the many lives of one man

Dirtbag, Massachusetts: A Confessional by Isaac Fitzgerald

Publication date: July 19, 2022

Date read: October 22, 2022

This memoir-in-essays begins with a childhood that moves at breakneck speed from safety to violence, recounting an extraordinary pilgrimage through trauma to self-understanding and, ultimately, acceptance. From growing up in a Boston homeless shelter to bartending in San Francisco, from smuggling medical supplies into Burma to his lifelong struggle to make peace with his body, Fitzgerald strives to take control of his own story: one that aims to put aside anger, isolation, and entitlement to embrace the idea that one can be generous to oneself by being generous to others.

The audiobook was narrated by the author. 

I’m not really sure where to start with this memoir. First of all, it’s composed of a number of essays that the author has written - some, I believe, were previously published, if not all. I had not read any before. (In fact, I was completely unfamiliar with Fitzgerald before picking up this book.) Because this book is in essay format, the timeline does jump around a little, but it doesn’t take away from the story, in my opinion. 

First of all, Fitzgerald is a wonderful writer. I thought that the essays flowed and I was interested throughout. Even in the parts of his life that I found a little cringy (I’ll get to that), I didn’t dislike any of the essays. I also appreciated that he completely admitted his flaws and shortcomings without making excuses for them - it just is who he is. Kind of refreshing, but if you’re looking for a book where someone sees the errors of their ways and gives up the hard life to settle down for happily ever after, this is not it. 

In that vein, Fitzgerald is not always an easy person to like. There is one essay where he basically only talks about drinking and spending all of his time in bars. There is another about his time in the pornography industry. He is rough around the edges and doesn’t shy away from any aspects of his life. Because of this, this book is absolutely not for everyone. 

I want to say that I was not the audience for this book, but in a way, this makes me a great person to review it. I often found Fitzgerald’s stories to be shocking, crass, and dark. I didn’t always like him as a person. Parts made me uncomfortable (the pornography essay; not because it was explicit - it isn’t - it’s just a subject matter that I find hard to talk about, or listen to someone talk about). But despite all of that, I still liked this book. Fitzgerald is a great writer and I found a lot of his eccentric life to be fascinating. 

So, yes, I enjoyed this book. And if you’re on the fence about picking it up, I’d say give it a shot. But by no means is this book for everyone. Use your judgement. But if you’re open to a little bit of grit and grime in your memoirs, you might be surprised with this one. 

Rating: 3.5/5 stars

Content warning: the Catholic Church sexual abuse scandal (*note: the author was not personally sexually abused, but he did grow up in the same church and experienced some inappropriate behavior), drug use, physical violence, alcoholism, drunk driving, attempted suicide (including a parent’s attempts witnessed by a child), mental illness, conflict in Burma, pornography, miscarriage, racism, Proud Boys, body dysmorphia, domestic abuse

Caution: language

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for an advanced copy of this book.